Common Divorce Mistakes & Myths

01 - divorce myths

Family lawyers in Paducah will tell you that 95 percent of divorce cases are settled, and only 5 percent go to trial.  If you ask them, they’ll also admit that the major concern in your divorce is how difficult and expensive it will be for you and your spouse to reach a settlement and complete your separation.

Divorcing spouses frequently make mistakes that prolong the divorce process and make it more difficult for them to reach a final divorce settlement. The following is a list of the “10 Don’ts” for divorces that result from these typical errors.


1. Don’t surreptitiously leave your marriage.  Some partners secretly plan their divorce, irreversibly damaging the trust necessary to reach an agreement.  Before you start gathering records, canceling accounts, and contacting an attorney, discuss your intentions with your spouse.

2. If you are the one starting the divorce, do not wait for your partner to understand your motives.  Express your emotions openly and honestly. The more time your spouse will likely need to understand that a divorce is imminent, the longer you wait.

3. Avoid being rude or cruel, especially if you have kids.  

4. Avoid confessing previous sins.  While doing so could improve your mood, the confession will enrage your spouse and make the divorce process more challenging.


5. Avoid making unauthorized withdrawals from a shared bank account or racking up credit card debt on a joint card account.  Discuss in advance how to handle joint accounts, or withdraw half if you believe that strategy is inappropriate. 50/50 splits are challenging to challenge.

6. Don’t conceal financial data.  If your spouse’s attorney discovers it, they won’t trust you anymore.  Additionally, you will rack up legal fees from both your own and your spouse’s attorneys, which are paid from the marital estate.

7. Don’t conceal your possessions or income.  Attempts to conceal assets leave a paper trail that will eventually be found. Those who attempt to hide their assets are punished by judges and lose all credibility.


8. Avoid being challenging.  Despite the fact that you may believe your viewpoints to be fair, you are actually making it more difficult and expensive to complete what is fundamentally a business transaction.

9. Wait till after your divorce is final before starting a new relationship.  Your husband will probably be upset and angry if you do. These emotions will come up in the discussions.

10. After the divorce, avoid harboring resentment and refrain from arguing over the same things.  Do not let your divorce have a negative effect on your future. If you have kids, your divorce will cause far more harm to them if you fight constantly.

You can learn more about sage counsel from Paducah family lawyers by contacting a knowledgeable divorce lawyer using the form on your right.

Myths About Divorce From a Paducah Family Lawyer

Divorce-related misconceptions are frequent.  The following notions are rarely or never true, according to any Paducah family law attorney you speak to:

1. The person paying alimony has unpleasant news. Sometimes, this is accurate.  However, because it is tax deductible, alimony can be utilized in settlement talks to equalize assets or partially pay child support, which can save the paying spouse money.

2. It is preferable to file first.  In most cases, it doesn’t matter who files for divorce first.  In the unlikely event that your case goes to trial, you present your case first, which can be a slight advantage. The two benefits of filing first are that (a) you can withdraw the papers if you change your mind and (b) you can present your case first.

3. You ought to become ready before announcing your intentions.  Some spouses believe that before speaking to their partners, they should prepare their legal documents, place money away, and mentally get ready to separate.  Perhaps planning ahead is a smart idea if the partner is an angry and vengeful person. Otherwise, you should discuss your feelings and plans with your spouse first. The cause of this is that before an agreeable settlement can be achieved, separation and divorce cause intense emotions that need to be processed.  Your settlement is likely to stall out emotionally if you adjust to the new reality too quickly than your partner.

4. Bad parenting prior to divorce results in bad parenting after.  Low participation with the children before separation does not guarantee high involvement after separation.  Perhaps because they are concerned about losing contact with their kids once they must live apart from them, many couples find that they are better parents after divorce.

5. Fighting fire with fire is preferable. A dispute will only become worse if you do this.  Instead, decline to interact. Hold firm to your position without stirring up trouble.  To move the conversation in the right direction, try making a few small concessions.  

6. It’s best to begin a new connection as soon as possible.  Dating while divorcing can be quite problematic.  The envy spouses exhibit toward them often shocks daters. Negotiations that were going well are frequently derailed by this spouse’s animosity.

Fill out the form on your right if you want or need to speak with a knowledgeable Paducah family law attorney about your circumstances and divorce plans.